It's November. Nearly another year is gone. Shocking, and slightly scary. It will be 2010 in a few months. Some people are telling me that I need to shut up, that they don't need the reminding. Some think that this passage of time is disgusting and it needs to slow down.

But it fascinates me.

Why is it, when we are children, the years seem to drag on forever? A school year is torture, we can't wait to get off the bus and run home to whatever makes us happy! We can't wait to play with our pets, or pop in a video game, or hug mom or dad. Life is not full as a child, there are sensations that we have yet to experience: experiences we have yet to partake in! But the time goes on so slowly...

Until when? When do we as individuals become conscious of time? Is it the first time we get a cellphone? Or how about the first time we put on a watch?

Or is it entirely dependent on how old we are when we have that first realization:
Wow... where did the time go?

Why when we are finally capable of living our own lives, making choices and decisions which shape our future, do we suddenly become aware of this sensation? Have our internal clocks suddenly kicked us in the ass, when we wake up with a sore back or a stiff muscle?

"Time flies when you're having fun." Well, life isn't always fun. We all have our grief, our deaths, our funerals, our bad days and our shitty moods. We all have our happiness, our love, our joy, our inspiration.

And here we are, winding back our clocks and wondering where the time went.

How do we want to spend it? I look at my life and realize part of it has been wasted on useless anger, bitterness, anger, hurt and a focus on those negative traits. I'm not saying every single day from now on should be sun-shine and sparkles: but when we look back, how do we want to remember those shitty years? How do we want to remember those years when we lost the most important people in our lives? How do we want to remember those friends that we grew apart from? Will it be bitter, resentful and closed doors?

Or are we capable of opening our minds further than that? Can we reach back, pulling painful sensations with the action, and pull out what good is hidden in that rank garbage our life trucks through? Is there a purpose in attempting this?

I think so. What purpose is there in living life, if you don't grow? When we're young, we are SO excited to find out we grew a few more inches. We jump up and down eagerly waiting to be measured so we can feel good about ourselves. Well, one day, we stop getting taller. But should we ever stop growing? Should we ever stop looking back in order to move forward?

No. If we ever reach that point, I think we have died in a way.

So this year, when you get an hour early to where you're going because you forgot to change one or two clocks, take some time to reflect. Ignore the fear that comes with it, the twinge of regret or damn I shouldn't of done that.

We don't get a second chance in the past: but there's a lot more in the future. Thank God for the life you have, and go carve out your path of life. We are changeable creatures. Now prove it.

A challenge to myself and anyone who cares to read some thoughtful rambling. Take care <3